Sunday, October 01, 2006

Al Gore: Pot Smokers Imperil World’s Environment!

Amsterdam, Sept. 30. While speaking before a symposium at the Stones Cafe in downtown Amsterdam former United States Vice President Al Gore shook up the normally complacent Stones crowd with his declaration that “toking-up leads to even more global warming!” Mr. Gore went on to explain to those gathered in front of the Stones main stage that “back in the day we used a No-Smoke-Toker” and urged the assembled crowd to “check out the new vaporizer technology that is coming on the market.” The assembled crowd seemed to get the message despite the fact that many of them held flaming lighters in the air during the former Vice President’s encore. One audience member, American ex-pat Joe “Rookie” Stetson of Boulder, Colorado had this to say, “Yeh man like, I knew that my bong was a weapon of mass destruction but I didn’t realize that it was also destroying the Arctic!” He then vowed to “check out one of those Vapo-Rub things that Al was talking about.”

The former Vice President’s appeal for environmental help in the heart of Europe’s marijuana using community underlines how seriously he takes this message. This European appeal follows a similar theme in a speech before the delegates to the United Nations. In that Thursday night speech Mr. Gore stated (the Drudge link has gone bad) that cigarette smoking is a "significant contributor to global warming!" The reactions of the assembled cigar and cigarette puffing foreign dignitaries were not fit for a family newspaper. After leaving the Stones Café Mr. Gore said that he was “getting back on my plane”, a retrofitted Boeing 727 dubbed “Pollution for a Solution!” and that he was heading to Rome in order to “talk to the Pontiff about all of those candles!”

Warning: The Above is Satire!


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