Mission Impossible: Chicago Media To Report on Obama?
Sony CFM-33: Good evening Mr. Media, I hope that this message finds you both sober and well. You and your Media Cohorts in Chicago and elsewhere have dug into the life of an American Citizen from Toledo, Ohio known as Joe the Plumber for the simple reason that he asked a reasonable question of your fellow Chicagoan and hometown favorite Mr. Obama. Mr. Plumber was doing the job that you and your Media cohorts have avoided for at least 22 months. Your mission, should you decide to accept it is as follows:
Do your job. Yes Mr. Media I am not asking much of you and your fellow ink-stained wretches, I am simply asking you to do your job. Should you accept this mission you will travel all of 1 mile 4, 789 feet from the end bar stool at the Billy Goat to the Richard J Daley Memorial Library on the campus of the University of Illinois at Chicago. When you arrive you will investigate and honestly write about Mr. Obama's only executive experience at the Chicago Annenberg Challenge. In the mean time you can have that bubble-headed girl who is your "intern" pull up all of the Annenberg articles that your paper wrote during the Challenge's existence.
Because you have acted as if you have no idea where those records are located, here are your directions: take this street, Lower Michigan Avenue south over the bridge to Lower Wacker Drive and take a right, follow Lower Wacker in the right lane to the end at the I-290 West on-ramp, take that and stay on your right, when you get back over the river stay in the right lane and get off on the I-90/94 Exit and take the I-90/94 East Dan Ryan exit on your left, take the Dan Ryan about a half of a mile and get off at Taylor Street West, take Taylor Street to Morgan Street, take a right and find a place to park. The Richard J Daley Memorial Library will be on your right, you can't miss it.
At less than four miles round trip there will be no mileage allowance.
Good luck Mr. Media. This tape will self-destruct in 12 seconds, ten, nine, eight, seven...