Friday, April 06, 2007

Pelosi Objects to Treatment of Brits

Somewhere Over the Rainbow, April 6, 2007 - While flying back to the United States the US Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi reacted angrily to news reports concerning the treatment of British Sailors by Iranian authorities saying that the use of blindfolds and restraints should only be used "within a consensual relationship". The speaker nearly exploded after hearing the initial reports that were relayed to her; Ms. Pelosi was heard to say "if it's not demanded or payed for, blindfolds are out of bounds!" While explaining that her years of experience representing San Francisco gave Speaker Pelosi a particularly good understanding of the hostage situation she repeatedly reminded the gathered reporters that she has many constituents and donors from around the world who "pay good money for such treatment" but that as far as she knew they all had a "safe word or phrase". Ms. Pelosi stated that her personal favorite "would be Madam President" if she found herself involved in such situations.

The Speaker of the House was described as being in a particularly good mood after what she described as her "foreign policy triumphs in the Mid-East". Ms. Pelosi was asked about the possibility of Geneva Convention violations by the Iranians to which the burka-clad Speaker replied, "we all know that George W. Bush and his cronies are the only persons on this planet responsible for disregarding human rights in a fashion that would bring the Geneva Conventions into play." The Madam Speaker further added that "the psychological abuse, physical threats, isolation and separation suffered by those British children are nothing compared to the Bush administration's insistence of listening in on Al Qaeda's phone calls and looking at Al Qaeda's bank records!"

Warning: The above is satire. I hope!

My hopes concerning the satirical nature of this post have been dashed against the rocks of reality again; many thanks to the brilliant Steny Hoyer (D. Md.)

Many thanks to Dr. Sanity and her Carnival of Insanities for inclusion again this week and Happy Easter!

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