Captain Morgan and Others take on Author and Jihadists!

Captain Morgan is the copyrighted image of Diageo.

Former buccaneer and current rum spokesman Captain Morgan has lashed out at and has threatened violent protests against author Kes Gray after the author decided to rename a fictional character Morgan the Mole instead of it's current name Mohamed the Mole. Captain Morgan, formerly of Wales stated that it is a grave offense to compare him or any other Morgan to "that murderous, backwards pedophile Mohamed!" Morgan went on to say that although he was once a "privateer", that he had turned his life around "years ago" in order to bring people together with "high spirits".

The Captain was joined by a legion of supporters who work for JP Morgan and even some retirees who had worked for Morgan Guarantee. The pirate was also joined by numerous individuals named Morgan, led by Hall of Fame baseball player Joe Morgan.

The former buccaneer Captain Morgan stated that "Aye Matey" he would take on any of those "thugs with me trusty sword!" Stating that the Islamic world is full of men who "whine, cry and have kiddies do their jobs", Morgan stated that he was "going to deal with that wuss of an author" before "dealing with those hajis!"

Warning:The above is satire.

See this great post by Dr. Sanity on the issue. She is much more fair than your humble correspondent.