Thursday, April 12, 2007

Gore Sighted in Chicago?

Chicago, April 12, 2007 - Rumors of Al Gore sightings were reported across Chicagoland yesterday as the area saw record snowfall for the date. After the Cubs were forced to cancel a game against the Houston Astros due to snow disappointed Cubs fans were heard at watering holes throughout Wrigleyville lamenting the Gore Effect. Across the street from Wrigley Field at the Sports Corner Bar and Grill, Joe and Bill Stanton of Des Moines said they thought that the former Vice-President was at Second City on Tuesday night. Joe Stanton said that "the people next to us said Gore was there but he kind of looked like Burl Ives without the beard" his brother Bill chimed in that "Al seemed to like the show, Between Barack and a Hard Place but I don't think he got it, he laughed at all the wrong times." One of their friends who declined to give his name because he had called in to work sick said that the group had "grown up on farms so we just figured that hey its April but then we heard about what Gore did up in Cleveland. We heard that he showed up at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame wearing a Chief Wahoo hat and they can't start their home season for what, four days now?"

Down the street at Murphy's Bleachers Sandberg Strapp was warming up over a cold Old Style when she said that she had heard rumors of a Gore visit while waiting in line outside of the Wrigley Field bleachers, "I heard that Gore and Tipper were at Charlie Trotter's last night. They probably flew out this morning and look what we get, two inches of snow!" When reminded that in past years it has snowed during Cubs games as late as May 16, Strapp replied "I was there! May 16, 1989! We lost to the Expos and Gore made a speech at the Standard Club the night before!"

Warning: the above is satire.

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