Gore Family Leaves Aspen - Heads to Spokane

 After a June ski weekend in Aspen the Gores must be headed to Spokane. The Gateway Pundit reports that it has been snowing in Spokane, Wa!

Gore Family to Summer in Aspen

How else to explain this news, Aspen will open "45 acres of mostly intermediate terrain that is accessible from the Ajax Express chairlift." Skiing in Aspen one week before the Summer Solstice, now that's global warming!

Was Al Gore in Chicago?

c Flying Debris

Maybe Al Gore stopped in this Walgreens on Fullerton this evening.

This Should Piss the Democrats Off

The US Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit has rejected a lawsuit that challenged the US surveillance program that was run by the NSA. This should drive the liberal nutcases crazy; as a group they believe that Bush is evil for listening in on overseas calls from known al qaeda operatives. This case is very interesting beyond the obvious legal issues, in fact members of the Democratic Party may very well be complaining about the "human rights" of machines.

Democratic whiners like Sen. Russ Feingold (D-Wi) failed to understand the technology that allows anybody to forward calls from a telephone in the US to any telephone in the world; in that situation the "human rights" being defended are those of a telephone that just happens to be in the US. On the subject of Al Gore and the NSA I wrote in Some Casino is Missing Its Greeter that: "just a few weeks ago Al claimed to have found some sort of controlling legal authority (Finally!) involving the NSA tapping situation. As far as I could figure, Al found the same “controlling legal authority” that he found ten tears ago; Al Gore."

Gore Enlists Fascist for Live Earth Concert!

Al Gore, the silly former US Vice President who is currently making a living as a rather large Chicken Little has enlisted Yusef Islam for his pathetic "rock concert to save the world" idea. Islam will play in Hamburg where they have not had decent ticket sales, in fact cover bands playing Chicago can get the gate that Gore's Hamburg concert currently has. Yusef Islam is the former British pop star Cat Stevens. The Catster is the man who once wrote and sang the song Peace Train and he has spent the past several decades calling for the death of Salmon Rushdie due to the fact that Mr. Rushdie once wrote a book that the Cat's handlers don't like.

I once saw Mr. Islam when he was Cat and he was alright I guess; I went with a date who loved his music but I have never had the urge to see him again. I did however notice Mr. Islam during the summer of 2001 when the Financial Times had a short piece on the Catster's demand that Rushdie be killed for insulting islam in one of the many books that Mr. Rushdie has written. The FT piece cracked me up; let me put it this way, if you are a member of a religion that allows washed up pop stars to issue religious death edicts then you may want to rethink the whole religion thing. Hello Al? Islam is calling.

So Al Gore has now enlisted the help of a washed up former top-40 pop star who has turned to threatening other artists, all in order for Al to make more money. Al, how much is enough? Mr. Gore is now so hard up for cash and attention that he is outwardly tied to hateful islamic jihad. Nice going Al. Mr. Gore's wife Tipper is a noted rock fan who once played drums in a band and has long been friendly with Mickey Hart, the drummer for the former Grateful Dead. Before a show at RFK ('94?) the Gores hosted the members of the Grateful Dead at the Vice-President's residence and Tipper took a wild, secret service free motorcycle ride to the concert on the back of Mickey's bike.

I had to add that antidote to point out that the Gore family is not a geek-fest when it comes to rock and roll. Al must know that the Catster is a scumbag jihadist; what the hell does Tipper think of this? Is the entire Gore family in on this anti-western jihad nonsense? Does Al Gore III even know what's going on? On the subject of Al III I will leave the drug bust to others but I must say that anybody who drives a Prius at 100 mph on public roads should be in prison.

Hat Tip: Little Green Footballs.

Gore Laments Fundraising - Suggests Clinton/Gore ’96 as Model

Time Magazine has excerpted Al Gore’s aptly named new book The Assault on Reason and it contains some very helpful hints for US Senators forced to run for reelection. In his new book the former Vice President laments that former Ku Klux Klan member and current Senator, Robert C. Byrd (D-WV) was forced to observe that Senate members were not even in the chamber when Byrd presented another in a long line of his boring and nonsensical speeches. Al Gore brilliantly answered Byrd’s question of where the other Senators were that fateful day with the retort, “(t)he chamber was empty because the Senators were somewhere else.” A statement like that from the man who was once a heartbeat away from the Presidency is, well, frightening.

The former Vice President further wrote that members of the Senate spend too much time raising funds for elections and suggested that they should concentrate their fundraising activities on foreign nationals “like President Clinton and I did.” Mr. Gore suggested getting in touch with any Buddhist Temples in the Senator’s state saying that “those Chinese, they love to gamble, they love American politics, they are concerned about the environment and they want to help!” Gore also mentioned the possibility of registering illegal aliens and criminals to vote saying that “once you have helped them falsify their citizenship papers they will vote for you from beyond the grave.” Mr. Gore also stated that Democratic Senators should consider “raiding the Lock Box to ensure that they can continue saving Social Security from those evil neo-con Republicans”


Warning: the Al Gore quotes in the second paragraph are satirical, as far as I know.

Thanks to the wonderful Dr. Sanity for inclusion in her Carnival of the Insanities again this week.

Gore Sighted in Chicago?

Chicago, April 12, 2007 - Rumors of Al Gore sightings were reported across Chicagoland yesterday as the area saw record snowfall for the date. After the Cubs were forced to cancel a game against the Houston Astros due to snow disappointed Cubs fans were heard at watering holes throughout Wrigleyville lamenting the Gore Effect. Across the street from Wrigley Field at the Sports Corner Bar and Grill, Joe and Bill Stanton of Des Moines said they thought that the former Vice-President was at Second City on Tuesday night. Joe Stanton said that "the people next to us said Gore was there but he kind of looked like Burl Ives without the beard" his brother Bill chimed in that "Al seemed to like the show, Between Barack and a Hard Place but I don't think he got it, he laughed at all the wrong times." One of their friends who declined to give his name because he had called in to work sick said that the group had "grown up on farms so we just figured that hey its April but then we heard about what Gore did up in Cleveland. We heard that he showed up at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame wearing a Chief Wahoo hat and they can't start their home season for what, four days now?"

Down the street at Murphy's Bleachers Sandberg Strapp was warming up over a cold Old Style when she said that she had heard rumors of a Gore visit while waiting in line outside of the Wrigley Field bleachers, "I heard that Gore and Tipper were at Charlie Trotter's last night. They probably flew out this morning and look what we get, two inches of snow!" When reminded that in past years it has snowed during Cubs games as late as May 16, Strapp replied "I was there! May 16, 1989! We lost to the Expos and Gore made a speech at the Standard Club the night before!"

Warning: the above is satire.

Al Gore: Pot Smokers Imperil World’s Environment!

The satirical piece below was originally posted by Flying Debris over 5 months ago but with the former Vice President’s recent post-Oscar surge in popularity and virtual “rock star” status it seems like a good time to post this one again. The post was based on a Drudge report that Gore had chastised a meeting of UN Delegates for imperiling the world’s environment by smoking.



Amsterdam, Sept. 30. While speaking before a symposium at the Stones Cafe in downtown Amsterdam former United States Vice President Al Gore shook up the normally complacent Stones crowd with his declaration that “toking-up leads to even more global warming!” Mr. Gore went on to explain to those gathered in front of the Stones main stage that “back in the day we used a No-Smoke-Toker” and urged the assembled crowd to “check out the new vaporizer technology that is coming on the market.” The assembled crowd seemed to get the message despite the fact that many of them held flaming lighters in the air during the former Vice President’s encore. One audience member, American ex-pat Joe “Rookie” Stetson of Boulder, Colorado had this to say, “Yeh man like, I knew that my bong was a weapon of mass destruction but I didn’t realize that it was also destroying the Arctic!” He then vowed to “check out one of those Vapo-Rub things that Al was talking about.”

The former Vice President’s appeal for environmental help in the heart of Europe’s marijuana using community underlines how seriously he takes this message. Gore's European appeal follows a similar theme in a speech before the delegates to the United Nations. In that Thursday night speech Mr. Gore stated (the Drudge link has gone bad) that cigarette smoking is a "significant contributor to global warming!" The reactions of the assembled cigar and cigarette puffing foreign dignitaries are not fit for a family newspaper. After leaving the Stones Café Mr. Gore said that he was “getting back on my plane”, a retrofitted Boeing 727 dubbed “Pollution for a Solution!” and that he was heading to Rome in order to “talk to the Pontiff about all of those candles!”

Warning: The Above is Satire! I hope.

Thanks to Dr. Sanity and her wonderful Carnival of Insanities for inclusion this week.