Saturday, May 10, 2008

Hyde Park Group Demands New State

Chicago, May 10 - A diverse group of Chicagoans from the Hyde Park neighborhood have formed a committee to secede from Illinois, called "Obamanois Not Illinois" the group has been meeting secretly at Morry's Deli at 55th and Cornell since last fall. The group's spokesperson, wearing a stylish black bandanna over her face and a Von Dutch hat pulled down over her forehead requested anonymity and stated that until this week the group merely wanted to secede from Chicago. However when the group was apprised of Sen. Obama's recent declaration that United States has 57 or more states the group immediately revamped their mission towards statehood. "He'll need more states" the spokesperson said, relating that the group held a secret emergency brainstorming session at Morry's yesterday after hearing of the change, "we changed our name and everything. After we voted down Durbinois we thought that an Obama tie-in was perfect cause he's the next President and everything." When asked if statehood was was too much of a reach the spokeperson shot back, "Minister Farrakhan has his own Nation up on Woodlawn." The group was known as "Hyde Park - Think Village!" until the loose-knit coalition of Anarchists, Marxists, artists, musicians, community activists and local marijuana dealers met in what the spokesperson described as a "wildly excited state" to plan for "a possible violent confrontation with the Man."

When questioned about "the Man" the spokesperson stated that "Mayor Daley is the Man and the enemy, we want to take Hyde Park and make it our state!" A spokesperson for Mayor Daley declined comment as did the Obama campaign, which threatened to have me arrested if I called back.

As far as I know, the above is satire.

Publia at Wilmette asks if Barack is losing his bearings and Anne at the Backyard Conservative asks if Barack is channeling Teressa Kerry?

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Blogger Publia said...

Satire? Thought this pretty well explained the 60 states (thanks for the mention!)

2:45 PM  
Blogger El Rider said...

I think that it was satire but then again, I've been wrong before.

8:31 PM  

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